My lectionary has assigned the book of Romans for my NT Epistle reading, and as I read several things jumped off the page to land in my mind.
First, Paul knew who he was and what he was called by God to do. This is what he says about himself: "a servant of Jesus Christ, called to be an apostle and set apart for the gospel" (v.1); "Through [Jesus] and for his name's sake, we received grace and apostleship to call people ..." (v.5); "I am obligated both to Greeks and non-Greeks, both to the wise and the foolish" (v.14). Paul never forgot how God invaded his life and re-purposed him to go to Gentiles. He received grace (related to spiritual giftedness) and apostleship (i.e. commission and authority) to carry out God's will. He was certain that God had given him his identity and his life mission, no matter how his activities fluctuated.
What about us? Paul informs us of several "callings" from God that apply to all of us, regardless of our specific life mission. 1. We are called "to the obedience that comes from faith" (v.5). 2. We are called to "belong to Jesus Christ" (v.6). 3. We are "loved by God and called to be saints" (v.7).
As to my specific role, the simplest way I can express it is to say that God has called me to be a bridge-builder, one who seeks to connect older and younger generations as well as different cultures and denominations, in the embrace of the Cross. I'm convinced that Jesus is our peace, and in Him we find meaning, healing, and destiny.
My second observation about Paul is that, even though plans didn't always work out for him, he never lost his sense of mission. In v.13 he mentions how he's been thwarted at visiting Rome despite "many" intentions to do so. This helps me to see my own fluctuation in context; I don't need to beat myself up if plans don't work out the way I want them to. But I do need to stay focused on the life mission God has for me. Yes, I've failed and fallen down. Yes, I've embarrassed myself and others. I'll do it again. But failure doesn't have to be a death-blow.
Third, Paul longs to visit the Romans (v.11). They're in his heart and his prayers (vv.8-10). And when he visits he plans to have a harvest among them as he and they are mutually encouraged (vv.12,15). He's not embarrassed to say that he has an agenda! This perhaps is what God wanted me to see today especially. I've been struggling with anxiety prior to most of my "outings." I'm not worried about travel per se, but for some reason I get overwhelmed with the details and begin to fret over unspoken questions like "What if I forget something? What if I say or do something that offends someone else? What if I let people or God down?" In all this I'm looking at myself and not the people to whom God is sending me. When Jesus says in John 4:35, "Open your eyes and look at the fields! They are ripe for harvest" He's talking about real people (in that case the Samaritan village of Sychar). Thus when Paul looked forward to the "harvest" he would reap in Rome (v.15), he was expectant with joy and hope. I think that's the key God wants me to see.
